as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
