PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
