this just has baby written all over it
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
