ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
