She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize