I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
How many fucks given?
0.12846
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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