Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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