Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
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