Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
