Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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