so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Randomize
