he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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