Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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