i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
