pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
if only i could text you this smell
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
