And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
He felt like a one man threesome
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
