walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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