We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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