The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
