Don't make out with my wife yet
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
