dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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