He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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