just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
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