I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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