But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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