What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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