one two three fourrrrnication!
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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