Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize