He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
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All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
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Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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