Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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