Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, beer. Big fan.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize