Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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