I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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