Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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