Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
