i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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