omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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