My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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