ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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