you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
