Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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