nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
My penis needs a shock collar
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Randomize
