we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
