My liver just broke up with me...
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize