So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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