How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
