In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
