I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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