Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
