So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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