I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
