You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
