She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
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