There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
