if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
