I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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