apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
this hospital has no fireball
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
