Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
