I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
