"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
