i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
