i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize