Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
